Why Pharmacy School ?

I am debating in my head why I have a fixation on pharmacy school.

Especially since, the demands on me academically are treacherous and I have never shown any particular interest in medicine beyond "well, look at how interesting that is".

I don't read medical journals, I don't think about medicine, I don't frequent blogs or sites about pharmacy.

I worry If I am confusing image with reality.


I want to be the person I imagined I would be many years ago, as a High School graduate. If you asked me at 18 what my 20's would be like, I would have said I would be prosperous, with a job , a car and my own apartment all paid for with my own money. I would be "the miracle", the kid who wasn't suppose to make it but did. I could see myself sitting behind a wooden desk, smiling into the camera as I have my picture taken for a generic article " urban/woman success" or something like that.

If you told me I would be a two time college drop out with a GPA I never know existed, I would have considered you evil.

Freshman year of college I had dreams of getting into the honors program, dean's list, graduating with cum laude designations, and getting into a national honor society. I would spend hours on WoffU's website, digging and emailing people about special programs. I fell for the smiling faces, welcoming pictures of paternalistic teachers.I still do that now actually...

I would make up for the shame I felt at being a good student in HS, but never once going to the First Students breakfast or getting into Nat'l honors Society . I never got a golden cord at my HS graduation. . ( I did make honor roll numerous times however ).

I never knew students could fail classes. I just never understood students could dropout of college . That you could not return because you don't have anymore money. In my world, ppl just went to school, worked hard, and everything else would fall into place. The school looked out for students, who were valuable in that they paid tuition and did work. I never knew any high school drop outs. That shit happened to other people who were just stupid, lazy or had parents who "didn't care enough".

Symptoms of a protected childhood I guess....

So I want a do over!! I want to go to pharmacy school. I think that's it.

Mom warned me how hard pharm school would be, but I want to give myself the chance to see if I COULD make it. Do I have my shit together enough to give it an honest go?

The nice thing about Pharm school is that it's competitive and admission is restricted to students who pass about two years of math and science classes plus a national exam, so you have a strong idea about what its like going into it.

You cannot choose pharmacy school and NOT know what you are getting into. Unlike the mess I brought on myself switching majors so often I failed out of school because I didn't really know what I was getting myself into.

So If I gush about pharmacy school on this blog and then seem suddenly cold, you know why.
=D



I am trying,
M.Fallen