Feeling MIGHTY embarrassed
my teacher told me today he doesn't add students to his facebook account.
Why did I even bring it up!!!
arggghhhh..........
Embarrassed,
Meranda Fallen.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Volunteering Semi -Disaster
Hello All!
I got around to volunteering! Showing some spirit, doing the community justice....building my sparse resume....
I remember the constant pressure to volunteer when I was in secondary school. Unable to find real opportunities, I ended up convincing the secretary at my local library to let me stock books and have that count as volunteer work. I was desperate for it to be over, even asking her when I was done for the day after 15 minutes! I will never forget her response
" You know, Meranda, when you get to the real world you cant keep asking when you can leave". I was so amused!
Flash forward many years,
I get an email that WoofU branch campus is holding a health fair, and that volunteers are very welcome. I say "hooray, an opportunity". I agree to give up all my free period hours for the day, I had images in my head of directing students and being the smiling face that makes ppl feel welcome, know where they are and that everything is gonna be fun fun fun!
I expected some of the fun fun fun for myself too, don't ya know.
First things first, whenever you volunteer, make ideally sure you know what you are doing. Make sure you know where it is and that you show up early. Make sure you know what to wear. Big mistakes I made.
Figuring this would be a teen/undergrad conference ( and not a "trying to push products in the name of health") I showed up in dark jeans, black sneakers, and a bright blue shirt. Bad Idea, when I walked up and told them I was a volunteer, I got this strange look of horror. Then I was direct to this lady who was suppose to "help me find a badge". It took her about a half hour to do so. Then her latchkey boy decides to recruit me for water and drink dispersion ( going around the tables and asking if anyone wanted water or fruit punch). Next, I get a handful of flyer's and am told to hand them out in the student cafe. Far away from the event in the next building.
I have never felt so happy to be in class taking notes in a long while! After class I decided against going back . Not even a free lunch was enough to encourage me. I felt like an unwanted problem the entire day! I felt messy. I felt ashamed of myself, knowing darn well if I was paid they could fire me for being a "no- show" to the second part of the event. What would a professional do!? Not quit. I felt SOOOOO alone.
Looking back, this is what I could have done better:
1. Understood the ins and outs of the event. Leave nothing to imagination. I was surprised by how upscale it was. All I saw were companies trying to sell there pseudo health crap (Reiki massage anyone)? And overpriced "health food".
2. Asked ahead of time exactly what "Directing ppl" meant. I assumed I would be sitting behind a desk or greeting. They had me handing out water and flyer's.
3. Asked what the dress code was ( that question was in the back of my mind, but I figure causal since they never said anything different). This , I believe, was the major reason ppl seemed so uncomfortable with me there. I was VERY under dressed.
4. Perhaps I should have called ahead of time too. I never actually met the person who was recruiting me.
I hope the next time is better,
Meranda Fallen
I got around to volunteering! Showing some spirit, doing the community justice....building my sparse resume....
I remember the constant pressure to volunteer when I was in secondary school. Unable to find real opportunities, I ended up convincing the secretary at my local library to let me stock books and have that count as volunteer work. I was desperate for it to be over, even asking her when I was done for the day after 15 minutes! I will never forget her response
" You know, Meranda, when you get to the real world you cant keep asking when you can leave". I was so amused!
Flash forward many years,
I get an email that WoofU branch campus is holding a health fair, and that volunteers are very welcome. I say "hooray, an opportunity". I agree to give up all my free period hours for the day, I had images in my head of directing students and being the smiling face that makes ppl feel welcome, know where they are and that everything is gonna be fun fun fun!
I expected some of the fun fun fun for myself too, don't ya know.
First things first, whenever you volunteer, make ideally sure you know what you are doing. Make sure you know where it is and that you show up early. Make sure you know what to wear. Big mistakes I made.
Figuring this would be a teen/undergrad conference ( and not a "trying to push products in the name of health") I showed up in dark jeans, black sneakers, and a bright blue shirt. Bad Idea, when I walked up and told them I was a volunteer, I got this strange look of horror. Then I was direct to this lady who was suppose to "help me find a badge". It took her about a half hour to do so. Then her latchkey boy decides to recruit me for water and drink dispersion ( going around the tables and asking if anyone wanted water or fruit punch). Next, I get a handful of flyer's and am told to hand them out in the student cafe. Far away from the event in the next building.
I have never felt so happy to be in class taking notes in a long while! After class I decided against going back . Not even a free lunch was enough to encourage me. I felt like an unwanted problem the entire day! I felt messy. I felt ashamed of myself, knowing darn well if I was paid they could fire me for being a "no- show" to the second part of the event. What would a professional do!? Not quit. I felt SOOOOO alone.
Looking back, this is what I could have done better:
1. Understood the ins and outs of the event. Leave nothing to imagination. I was surprised by how upscale it was. All I saw were companies trying to sell there pseudo health crap (Reiki massage anyone)? And overpriced "health food".
2. Asked ahead of time exactly what "Directing ppl" meant. I assumed I would be sitting behind a desk or greeting. They had me handing out water and flyer's.
3. Asked what the dress code was ( that question was in the back of my mind, but I figure causal since they never said anything different). This , I believe, was the major reason ppl seemed so uncomfortable with me there. I was VERY under dressed.
4. Perhaps I should have called ahead of time too. I never actually met the person who was recruiting me.
I hope the next time is better,
Meranda Fallen
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Liberal Artsy Anyone
I am currently a business major.
I am considering a health science ( pharmacy) after business.
I used to be an anthropology major
Later switched to speech pathologist.
I once considered Engineering.
Wonder if I would have been happier with a Liberal Art/ math (or Science) double major.
There were so many different paths I could have taken. If I could do it over again, I think I would have stayed with my Anthropology major but added a mathematical/statistics major as well. Then continued my education to the graduate level. This is what I tell anyone who wants to major in a liberal art. Pair it with something and plan on graduate school. Get ALOT of experience early. Know what you want and always keep your ears on the ground.
For some reason, a four year degree is a small stepping stone. Most majors do not lead directly to jobs. Competition is fierce. Its not just getting good grades and being a good citizen. If you are not among the best students in your department, It can be argued you are worse off for staying in college. Not that college is a bad decision, but the rewards may not pan out the way you expected.
If I had better guidance earlier on, maybe I would have graduated on time. Maybe I would be employed. Perhaps I could look back and smile when I think about college. Maybe I would have the life I imagined I would have. Maybe I would have long awaited independence. Perhaps I would feel a level of personal success at a young age. I'm tired of being a student. I want to eat , drink, fuck , laugh, dance and be with old friends. Is that TOO much to ask?
Speech pathology would have been a great field If If knew what I was getting myself into.
I decided against it because I am not competitive enough to get into graduate school ( necessary for the license needed to work). Anthropology would require a PH.D to pursue. Statistics would require about two years of foundation math classes. Pharmacy is the same thing, about two years of foundation science classes for a vague chance at going to pharmacy school. I am rethinking statistics.
The reality is that I may be in school alot longer in order to study something I enjoy. My goals are to find an affordable way to do that. I resent it, I am mad, but I am also okay with it IF I can be alittle more independent as well. I am trying to find ways to build on my skills ( start where you are strong) instead of starting over. So my advisor recommends accounting or finance. I question both....wish I had someone to explain my options to me.
But who knows,
Meranda Fallen
I am considering a health science ( pharmacy) after business.
I used to be an anthropology major
Later switched to speech pathologist.
I once considered Engineering.
Wonder if I would have been happier with a Liberal Art/ math (or Science) double major.
There were so many different paths I could have taken. If I could do it over again, I think I would have stayed with my Anthropology major but added a mathematical/statistics major as well. Then continued my education to the graduate level. This is what I tell anyone who wants to major in a liberal art. Pair it with something and plan on graduate school. Get ALOT of experience early. Know what you want and always keep your ears on the ground.
For some reason, a four year degree is a small stepping stone. Most majors do not lead directly to jobs. Competition is fierce. Its not just getting good grades and being a good citizen. If you are not among the best students in your department, It can be argued you are worse off for staying in college. Not that college is a bad decision, but the rewards may not pan out the way you expected.
If I had better guidance earlier on, maybe I would have graduated on time. Maybe I would be employed. Perhaps I could look back and smile when I think about college. Maybe I would have the life I imagined I would have. Maybe I would have long awaited independence. Perhaps I would feel a level of personal success at a young age. I'm tired of being a student. I want to eat , drink, fuck , laugh, dance and be with old friends. Is that TOO much to ask?
Speech pathology would have been a great field If If knew what I was getting myself into.
I decided against it because I am not competitive enough to get into graduate school ( necessary for the license needed to work). Anthropology would require a PH.D to pursue. Statistics would require about two years of foundation math classes. Pharmacy is the same thing, about two years of foundation science classes for a vague chance at going to pharmacy school. I am rethinking statistics.
The reality is that I may be in school alot longer in order to study something I enjoy. My goals are to find an affordable way to do that. I resent it, I am mad, but I am also okay with it IF I can be alittle more independent as well. I am trying to find ways to build on my skills ( start where you are strong) instead of starting over. So my advisor recommends accounting or finance. I question both....wish I had someone to explain my options to me.
But who knows,
Meranda Fallen
Are you better off Now, after all that college?
What would you do if you found out you would be no better off after college than if you had never gone?
As a Drop out turned full-time student, this is what I wake up to . I still have an opportunity to change the course of things, perhaps move out by the time I graduate from school, but I am in shock at how I ended up here after three years of college already.
Many students who have already graduated feel this pain everyday. Some graduates have been asking what to do now if they didn't have internships, a 3.5 GPA and great recommendations from professors . They are at home, sitting.
As a Drop out turned full-time student, this is what I wake up to . I still have an opportunity to change the course of things, perhaps move out by the time I graduate from school, but I am in shock at how I ended up here after three years of college already.
Many students who have already graduated feel this pain everyday. Some graduates have been asking what to do now if they didn't have internships, a 3.5 GPA and great recommendations from professors . They are at home, sitting.
Some Teens I know are getting ready for college. I want to take them aside so badly and say "Don't end up like me. I know everyone tells you how good I am like they know me, but I FUCKED UP". I want to have long conversations on the phone about school and life and lay into them that indecision is more risky the older you get. College is only four years, if you do it right you may not have to go back to school if you don't want to. Plan for life AFTER college and you can have all the fun you want later. Plus, money. Make good use of whatever major you choose, but choose wisely. It is hard to rebound. Be ultra competitive academically and get in touch with the leadership of your school. Work with those who will help you. Chose tenured professors over adjuncts to build recommendations and resumes.
But I cant. I'm still embarrassed about sitting at home, plus going to college a year after I was suppose to graduate. Maybe that's you too? Have you thought about or do you know someone who is NOT living life after college? What did you do, or what are you doing now? What advice would you give to teens?
What to do , what to do?
Meranda Fallen
Friday, October 8, 2010
Self Loathing Life of Fresh Air
Hey Readers,
Usually, I spend afew days in self loathing when I have to deal with the reality of being back home. I need afew days to unwind, and then I make sense of where I am. I am back to life BEFORE college, when there were limits to where I could be, who I could hang with and what I could experience. I left college with better thinking skills to apply to this boring old world I thougth I would never see again after I finished school. I spend more time thinking about where my life should head. Nothing happens without deliberate thought and action.
I feel good when the doubt goes away. When I feel less alone. It puts me less in the spot light. I am adjusting to different expectations.
I do not blog about my political affiliations, opinions , bias or much personal info because my goal is to have this blog be a resource to anyone who needs it. LIKE any normal person, I have issues, You got issues.....we got issues ( what song is that lyric from again!?).
Do I feel special because I am a college drop out who is STILL trying to get a bachelors degree? Who is so ambitious as to start planning for professional school even before proving to many doubting advisers that "yes, I can pass classes with at least a B + average". I haven't even shared with my new adviser that I want to be a pharmacy major ( or enter science). She is still scared I will fail out again. Darn.....
I wish I could fault them. I wish I could just say...they are biased. But I have a negative history. Ppl have many reasons to doubt me, and I am very responsible for making my life harder than I want it to be. Through pure naivety. I cant wait until this time next year when I have afew semesters of good performance under my belt.
Enough Guilt trip, I am here to write so you know I am not away , I think about you all the time, and I have plenty of stories to share once I am done with school and can edit/post them. I am seriously considering renaming my blog, since I realized many ppl have the same title but cover totally different topics than I do. This is a blog reaching out to college drop outs. I need some idea's!!! We are special. We need a special blog name that gets to the point.
I am not dead...yet,
Meranda Fallen.
Usually, I spend afew days in self loathing when I have to deal with the reality of being back home. I need afew days to unwind, and then I make sense of where I am. I am back to life BEFORE college, when there were limits to where I could be, who I could hang with and what I could experience. I left college with better thinking skills to apply to this boring old world I thougth I would never see again after I finished school. I spend more time thinking about where my life should head. Nothing happens without deliberate thought and action.
I feel good when the doubt goes away. When I feel less alone. It puts me less in the spot light. I am adjusting to different expectations.
I do not blog about my political affiliations, opinions , bias or much personal info because my goal is to have this blog be a resource to anyone who needs it. LIKE any normal person, I have issues, You got issues.....we got issues ( what song is that lyric from again!?).
Do I feel special because I am a college drop out who is STILL trying to get a bachelors degree? Who is so ambitious as to start planning for professional school even before proving to many doubting advisers that "yes, I can pass classes with at least a B + average". I haven't even shared with my new adviser that I want to be a pharmacy major ( or enter science). She is still scared I will fail out again. Darn.....
I wish I could fault them. I wish I could just say...they are biased. But I have a negative history. Ppl have many reasons to doubt me, and I am very responsible for making my life harder than I want it to be. Through pure naivety. I cant wait until this time next year when I have afew semesters of good performance under my belt.
Enough Guilt trip, I am here to write so you know I am not away , I think about you all the time, and I have plenty of stories to share once I am done with school and can edit/post them. I am seriously considering renaming my blog, since I realized many ppl have the same title but cover totally different topics than I do. This is a blog reaching out to college drop outs. I need some idea's!!! We are special. We need a special blog name that gets to the point.
I am not dead...yet,
Meranda Fallen.
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