Volunteering Semi -Disaster

Hello All!



I got around to volunteering! Showing some spirit, doing the community justice....building my sparse resume....

I remember the constant pressure to volunteer when I was in secondary school. Unable to find real opportunities, I ended up convincing the secretary at my local library to let me stock books and have that count as volunteer work. I was desperate for it to be over, even asking her when I was done for the day after 15 minutes! I will never forget her response



" You know, Meranda, when you get to the real world you cant keep asking when you can leave". I was so amused!



Flash forward many years,

I get an email that WoofU branch campus is holding a health fair, and that volunteers are very welcome. I say "hooray, an opportunity". I agree to give up all my free period hours for the day, I had images in my head of directing students and being the smiling face that makes ppl feel welcome, know where they are and that everything is gonna be fun fun fun!



I expected some of the fun fun fun for myself too, don't ya know.



First things first, whenever you volunteer, make ideally sure you know what you are doing. Make sure you know where it is and that you show up early. Make sure you know what to wear. Big mistakes I made.



Figuring this would be a teen/undergrad conference ( and not a "trying to push products in the name of health") I showed up in dark jeans, black sneakers, and a bright blue shirt. Bad Idea, when I walked up and told them I was a volunteer, I got this strange look of horror. Then I was direct to this lady who was suppose to "help me find a badge". It took her about a half hour to do so. Then her latchkey boy decides to recruit me for water and drink dispersion ( going around the tables and asking if anyone wanted water or fruit punch). Next, I get a handful of flyer's and am told to hand them out in the student cafe. Far away from the event in the next building.

I have never felt so happy to be in class taking notes in a long while! After class I decided against going back . Not even a free lunch was enough to encourage me. I felt like an unwanted problem the entire day! I felt messy. I felt ashamed of myself, knowing darn well if I was paid they could fire me for being a "no- show" to the second part of the event. What would a professional do!? Not quit. I felt SOOOOO alone.



Looking back, this is what I could have done better:

1. Understood the ins and outs of the event. Leave nothing to imagination. I was surprised by how upscale it was. All I saw were companies trying to sell there pseudo health crap (Reiki massage anyone)? And overpriced "health food".



2. Asked ahead of time exactly what "Directing ppl" meant. I assumed I would be sitting behind a desk or greeting. They had me handing out water and flyer's.



3. Asked what the dress code was ( that question was in the back of my mind, but I figure causal since they never said anything different). This , I believe, was the major reason ppl seemed so uncomfortable with me there. I was VERY under dressed.

4. Perhaps I should have called ahead of time too. I never actually met the person who was recruiting me.




I hope the next time is better,

Meranda Fallen

When the Past Comes to Haunt Me

I sat outside on a bench at Woof Uni Branch Campus, minding my own business when an old friend stopped by.

I have not seen Gwendoline since I was in middle school.

Said she came by to pick up something....the school lost a laptop and now wants to offer her identity protection at no cost for two years.

We chatted, detailing things like college drop outs, unwanted pregnancies, and missed opportunities.

I smiled, and thought, could I open up to her about my blog?

Her story is even more realistic than mine. Transferred to over three different schools in two states. More than 30K in student debt. Should have graduated a year ago. Had a baby. Only now getting her life back together.

She asked me about Shauna, an old nemesis from Middle school. I told her Shauna was in Med School at Woof University Research Hospital, perhaps on a scholarship or two. Still fat as ever, a little taller though.

Gwendoline told me about Veronica, a girl who seemed to quietly despise me, now an RN working at a local hospital. Flaunting new found wealth in volunteering to help a poorer family member pay for a wedding. She graduated from Woof University about a year ago.

I saw the hurt in Gwendoline's eyes. All I could do is encourage her, and give vague details about my own reasons for still being a student at Woof University. I'm a two time drop out, went to the same middle school as Shauna and Veronica,but could not handle being on my own.

I don't know what happened. We were all smart, talented and resourceful ppl. We all had nearly the same backgrounds, schools even. We all went our separate ways, some landing on our heads.

One thing is for sure, the successful ones had there @#$% together from the get-go. Now that Gwendoline and I have finally found our purpose, though worn out and teary eyed, we are on our way to better things.

Hopefully.....

Getting your feelings Hurt...

There is a tendency in Academia and public opinion to believe students who flunk out or who are "non -traditional" are :

Onerous
Stupid
Lazy
Undeserving
Worthless.
Undisciplined.

I have encountered a repetitive joke, whenever I would ask for help on where I could go, about jobs at McDonald's. How original, ppl with no degree's get work at MCDONALD'S!? I would believe my life was over, that I was not or never would be college material. Advises simply did not know what to do with me, and gave me the standard run around. Retake this class, Go to community college, Go to work, Just take a break. Seldom do I recall a college advisor having a sit down with me to ask what I want and what I dream of. I've had Advisers chuckle when I told them what I wanted to do ( business and later Pharmacy). I knew then that I would have to stay quiet about my dreams, work hard to advise myself, and find anyone willing to help and not judge . I have found a handful to ppl like this, and I continue to build up my support team. I suggest you do that as well. If your advisor does not seem to know what to say or do with you, find someone who can help!

Even today, doing what I do to create a space for ppl who had high hopes and dashed dreams, I still hear the whisper "Your NEVER gonna make your dreams come true, your GPA is too low and NO ONE will take you seriously".

yes, it is true that competition today is fierce, and that many opportunities for ppl who had it rough before may have dried up.

But for most college drop outs, the truth is there ARE no other viable options but to go to school and finish.

So when your advisor laughs at you, when random online posters tell you that McDonald's is hiring, when you cry and ask yourself why you keep doing this to yourself, realize

There is no where else to go but UP !!! When you get to that point you will know. I study with an "F*** YOU" attitude towards anyone who tells me I am worthless.


I hope this blog has been a help and hand holder for you!!

Peace,
Meranda Fallen